BALLADE OF UNFORTUNATE MAMMALS

            Love is sharper than stones or sticks;

            Lone as the sea, and deeper blue;

Loud in the night as a clock that ticks;

            Longer lived than the Wandering Jew.

Show me a love was done and through,

            Tell me a kiss escaped its debt!

Son, to your death you’ll pay your due—

            Women and elephants never forget.

Ever a man, alas, would mix,

            Ever a man, heigh-ho, must woo;

So he’s left in the world-old fix,

            Thus is furthered the sale of rue.

Son, your chances are thin and few—

            Won’t you ponder, before you’re set?

Shoot if you must, but hold in view

            Women and elephants never forget.

Down from Caesar past Joynson-Hicks

            Echoes the warning, ever new:

Through they’re trained to amusing tricks,

            Gentler, they, than the pigeon’s coo,

Careful, son, of the cursèd two—

            Either one is a dangerous pet;

Natural history proves it true—

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